What do you want?

The other day, I was having a conversation and I was not happy, and I kept going on and on about what it was about the situation that I did not like, and what it was that rubbed me the wrong way, and what it was that I was not going to let go of and whatever else you can think to add to all that. And I was saying lots of big words. And I kept going on and on and on and on and I guess that gets annoying, and so the person I was talking to (Bayo) asked me very coolly, “so Tomi, what do you want?” Tomi says, “huh?” Bayo says, “what exactly do you want?” At this point, a certain picture popped in my head.

Have you ever seen a dog chasing a car? It will chase one car and then a gray Toyota Camry will catch its fancy and it will leave the first one and start chasing that one and then a black Nissan maxima with alloy wheels and camel interior will pass by and then it will leave the Camry and chase that one down, and that’s not the funny thing. The funny thing is that if it were to catch up with any one of those cars, the car will be useless to it. It can’t drive it. It can’t live in it. It can’t make it into a food truck… so why was it chasing the car?

It was at this point that I realized that I had no idea what it was exactly it was that I was fighting for, and so I had to humble myself and say, “I don’t know”

You can stop laughing at me now.

At that time, I made a decision: I would never again fight a battle that I don’t completely understand. I would never again walk into a conversation without a clear picture of what it is that I would like to walk out of it with.